Tekken Tag Tourney 2
by PS2 Fighter
Summary: A 2nd Tag Tourney is being held. My 1st fic, but a funny one, at least the 1st few chapters. Random silliness abounds. Chap. 6: What's up with the talk show?
1. Default Chapter

Tekken Tag Tourney 2 Chap.1 The Fighters are Summoned

Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken, or anything else I might go off topic with, if I did I might spend more time actually turning this thought into reality.

A/N: This is my 1st fanfic and I hope it is a good one. I am open to suggestions and what to do next with the characters *evil grin*. My original character is Narrator and he will be doing the self-insertion for me *another evil grin*. So read it, enjoy it, but don't forget to laugh and review (^_^)

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Narrator: So we open the scene at the Mishima Zaibatsu where Hehachi walks in to work. Little does he know what is planned in the future for him.

Hehachi: *walks into office* Did you just hear someone saying stuff about me a minute ago Mrs. Secretary-Lady-Person -Thing-That -Works-Here?

M.S.L.P.T.T.W.H: No sir.

Hehachi: Then I must be getting old.

M.S.L.P.T.T.W.H: You _must _be. You forgot to wear pants today.

Hehachi: *is wearing his T4 P.1 costume* No, I just like the comfort it gives me.

All in office: *shudders*

Hehachi: All right everybody out. 

M.S.L.P.T.T.W.H: But sir, I'm the only one in here.

Hehachi: OUT!!!

All: *leaves* In other words, just the secretary.

Hehachi: Hmm, I am bored today. Perhaps I should go mangle a cheerleader and devour her legs.

*looks at script* No wait wrong fic. Let's try this again. *clears throat*

Hmm, I am bored today. Perhaps I should devise another tournament.

Christie: *out of nowhere* But we had one last week. Most of us are still too emotionally unstable to participate in the next one.

Hehachi: How the hell did you get in my desk? How come you sounded so smart at the end? How come I am directing my questions to a plant?

plant: *shrugs*

Hehachi: Anyway get out of my desk dammit!

Christie: *jumps out of window* You will soon regret tttttthhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssss.

Hehachi: We're only on the first story.

Christie: Oh yeah. *skips off*

Hehachi: Sometimes I wonder. Oh well. Guess it's time to hand out the "invitations".

Narrator: So Hehachi sent the "invitations" out and "persuaded" the fighters to come. So in other words he sent the Tekken Force armed with machine guns to herd them all there.

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Narrator: So later that night every single participant in every single tournament *cough* plot-hole *hack* has gathered at the Mishima Comedy Bar and Dance Hall. 

Hehachi: *on stage* And that was Wang Jingery's stand-up comedy.

Wang: With my moves they should have just called me Wang Chang.

Steve: *in crowd* Hi-ohh. *drum sounds*

Hehachi: Gross. *pushes Wang into drum band* And now the real reason why I summoned you here.

Kazuya: Besides the fact to remind you to wear pants.

Hehachi: For the last time!! I wear them for comfort!! Anyways I have decided to host.....A new tournament.

All: *gasp*

Hehachi: But it shall be a Tag Tournament. And I'm the one who decides the teams *evil laugh*.

All: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Hehachi: So without delay I shall read off the teams-

Jin: Don't do this to me. I'm too popular and good-looking and everybody'll want to be my partner.

All: *silent*

Jin: Not even you Xiao?

Xiaoyu: Well everybody wants to be _my _partner along with Dr. Bosconovitch.

All: *flock to be their partners*

Bosco: And you all thought everybody hated me. I showed you all *long drawn out mad-scientist-like laugh*

Bryan: Yeah Dr. you're soooo cool. --buzz--

Anna: And soooooooooo hot. --buzz--

Yoshimitsu: And sooooooooooooooo smart. --buzz--

Jin: *slaps head*

Hehachi: For the last time!!!! I'm choosing the partners!!!!!!!!

Marduck: Quack!

Hehachi: So first of all we have Bryan and Lei.

Bryan: Ah!!! You're sticking me with that pansy on purpose.

Lei: *winks*

Hehachi: Well duh. Yeah, next team Michelle and Ganryu.

Michelle: Water, *hack*!

Hehachi: King and Marduck.

Marduck: Quack!

King: But he killed my best friend and mentor.

A. King: Uh, I'm right here.

*a plot-hole appears*

King: Ahhhh!!! *All them try to escape the plot-hole that is sucking them up*

Marduck: Quuuuaaaaaaccccccck! *is sucked up*

plot-hole: Mmmmmmm, Raisin-Bran. *disappears*

A. King: Let's not try to do invoke the powers of the plot-hole again.

King: Agreed.

Hehachi: Kuma and Paul.

Paul: Couldn't of seen that one coming.

Hehachi: Bruce and Ogre.

Bruce: But he killed me. *avoids the renegade plot-hole*

Ogre: *is too busy possessing Ganryu to hear his team-mate*

Ganryu: *is floating around being possessed*

Julia: *slips Ogre a $20* Thanks.

Ogre: No prob.

Hehachi: *groan* I'm getting tired. Kazuya, you do the next few.

Kazuya: It'll be my pleasure. *evil smirk*

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Narrator: Oh no! Kazuya is in power now. What will become of the teams? What will happen with all these plot-holes trying to kill everyone? Why is Dr. Bosconovitch so popular? Why was Wang doing stand-up? All the teams and answers to these questions will be figured out in the next chapter. Stay tuned.

A/N Hope you're liking it so far. If your fav. fighter wasn't mentioned, trust me they will all be in the next chapter. Again I am open to ideas for teams if you have any, but I already have "plans" for some of them (^_^). So if you liked it, feel free to review. Again this is my first time writing. Anyway look for an update soon.


	2. Dr B's Brainwash Machine

Tekken Tag Tourney 2Chap.2 Dr. B's Brainwash Machine

Disclaimer: Isn't it already bloody obvious that someone with my brain span is incapable of owning or even making up these characters? Anyway I don't own anything.

A/N: Thanks toSnake Edge: More Lei nutiness in store for you.

Save-My-Soul: Glad you think it's funny.

Junnie55: Nice to know you're enjoying it.

Again, thanks to all of you for the warm welcome. On with the show then.

Anyways I'm leaving out the rest of the teams this chapter for now to give you *evil glare* some more time to decide them. So this is more of a wacky stall chapter, still hopefully funny nonetheless. Cast your vote and please review. In the mean time, character-bashing and name-calling for all!

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Narrator: Not much has happened since we left our heroes except Alex went extinct and Tiger got ran over by a train. Since Kazuya is planning more teams in his room, we now enter the different rooms in the Mishima Hotel of the participants to stall the story even more.

*in the "older girls room" with Jun, Michelle, Nina, Anna, and (sigh) Lee*

Michelle: So did you see Marshal's new haircut, talk about so 20 years ago.

Anna: I know (--buzz--), and what is up with that (--buzz--) mustache?

Lee: I guess it's there to tell ,like, the 2 Laws apart *giggle*

Nina: Yeah, think it's sad that you, Jun and Michelle used to be the "hot ones" but are being replaced by your kids. 

Jun: Uh-huh. Can't say the same for you Nina.

Nina: What do you mean?

Jun: Don't you know that Steve kid is your son?

Nina: Wha???!!!!

Anna: Does that (--buzz--) mean I'm (--buzz--) an aunt?

Michelle: Yup, and Paul's a daddy.

Paul: *teleports in* I finally have a reasonable plot to myself instead of being a 50 year-old bike- riding loser. Yay!!! *teleports out*

Lee: Like, oh my gosh.

Nina: Ack!*starts hyper-ventilating*

Jun: Now you, me and Michelle can all have motherly talks together.

Nina: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Narrator: *Now we see what the "teens" are doing.

Xiaoyu: My best friend is a Panda, I am working for a 75 year-old guy with spiked hair in a thong, and my boyfriend is the son of the Devil?

Jin: That about sums it up.

Steve: Well at least you don't have "thoughts" about your mom.

*everybody looks at him*

Steve: Uhhh, Look! an ice-cream truck.

Chritie: ICE CREAM!!! *jumps out of window*

Miharu: We're on the 1st floor. You could have just used the door.

Christie: Oh, yeah. *jumps back into the room through the window and skips out the door*

Miharu: Sometimes I wonder.

Hwoarang: So....Julia you wanta go out somewhere later?

Julia: Negative humanoid. I (--buzz--) have a date with Dr. Bosconovitch. (--buzz--)

*all look at her*

Forest: I also have a foot-rubbing (--buzz--) appointment with the ever so smart (--buzz--) Dr. Bosconovitch.

Jin: What the? I tink sumting scwewy is goin' on here.

Xiaoyu: Yeah, we better investigate.

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*they all walk into the "men's" hotel room*

Hwoarang: Ah!!! What's going on here?

*Yoshimitsu is barking like a dog, Baek and Paul picking bugs off each other, and Lei and Bryan are in ballerina tutus dancing while Anna is making out with the wall*

Jin: Who could be ever so diabolical to make them their slaves like this? Could it be Ogre?

faint voice: No.

Hwoarang: Devil?

No.

Xiaoyu: Unknown?

No.

Steve: Kazuya?

No.

Miharu: Al Gore?

Dumbass.

Jin: Then who the heck is it.

faint voice: Jeez, I wouldn't need a brainwashing device for you morons. It is I, Lord Muffin errrrrr... 

Dr. Bosconovitch. *evil laugh*

All: *like idiots* Ooooooohhhhhhhh. Huh?

Christie: I don't get it.

Dr. Bosconovitch: You Bakka! Don't you understand? With this remote *pulls out a remote,/A/N: Ooohhh, 

shiny ^_^\* I shall brainwash you all to steal all the Cheetos in the world, and then 

once I have them, I will sell them on E-bay and make absurd amounts of money. With 

all this money I shall buy a giant vacuum to suck all the toupees off the world-leaders'

heads and thus...... take over the world!!! *another evil laugh* And now to brain-wash 

you Ms. J-Lo looking, Britany Spears move-stealin excuse for a Brazilian. *shoots 

remote at her* What? How come it isn't working.

Eddy: *walks in* She would need a brain to wash first. Get him Christie.

Christie: Grrrrrrrr. *does Capoeiras him in the behind*

Dr. B: OWW!!! *drops remote and er... falls into stance (pun intended)* Curses, foiled again. *grabs out a rocket-pack* You may have won this round but next time I will.... *jumps out of window*....... wwwwiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn.

Eddy: Dude, this is the first story.

Dr. B: Oh yeah. *flies of merrily into the sunset*

Christie: Sometimes _I_ even wonder.

Jin: Woah, she does?

*everybody turns back to normal*

Xiaoyu: Theirs something I don't understand. Wouldn't people like Paul, Anna, and all of them need brains 

too to be brainwashed?

Paul: Oh no, she has invoked the mighty power of the plot-hole again.

*plot-hole appears*

Julia: Run for it!

Lee: *shrieks like the girl he is*

Lei: The herd will thin, the slow shall perish.

*all run happily off into the sunset*

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Narrator: And so everything is fine once more, except Gon can't find his pants and somebody taped over Ogre's copy of _The Lion King_. Ti'll next time we meet, we might not need these stupid side-plots to keep us occupied. So long.

A/N: Weird no? Sorry about the Christie bashing, she was the only one that fit. So don't forget about the 

voting, I don't want to make _another _chapter like this. So be sure to check back and see if your team ideas were implemented. Who knows who might die next (^_^) Bakka!!!


	3. Heihachi's Lee's Inqusition AKing's a w...

Tekken Tag Tourney 2Chap. 3 Heihachi's and Lee's Inquisition; A. King's a wizard?

Disclaimer: Yeah, you guessed it. I don't own anything. I don't even own anybody, because that would be slavery O_O. But I _do own_ Narrator. He's mine all mine bwahahahaha.

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates (my brother got addicted to Starcraft Battlenet *gah*), it's going to be slow now on. Spring Break is ending for me. Yep, you forced me, yet another chapter about nothing. For some reason I think you like it better this way. Anyway it's the last chance for you all to cast your vote for the teams. Enough yak already, now what you actually wanted to read.

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Narrator: Tra-la-la-la-la. La-de-da-de-da. Oh wait, you wanted the actual characters to mire this story. Okay, we now enter a closet with Anna and OH MY GOSH! o_O *ahem* Moving on, we see Eddy and Christie at the hotel's Arcade.

Christie: Hey, that's Tekken 4 isn't it?

Eddy: Yeah, let's play it. *chooses Chrisite*

screen: SCRUB!

Christie: Okay, it doesn't look like we can play that one. Let's move over here.

Eddy: All right this game. *Marvel vs. Capcom 2* 

Christie: Let's choose these. *picks Megaman, Cable, and Iceman*

screen: SCRUB!!

Eddy: Ah! Moving on to this one. *Virtua Fighter 4*

Christie: He looks good, choose him. *chooses Jacky*

screen: SCRUB!!!

Christie: Argh. I'm choosing the next game. *Soul Calibur 2*

Eddy: Yoshimitsu is on here but I'm being this guy. *Killik*

screen: SCRUB!!!!!!!!!!

Both: AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *run out of arcade*

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Narrator: Now we enter the lobby where we have a make-shift meeting hall.

Kunimitsu: I would like to say something.

Bryan: Yeah, well nobody likes you.

Lei: Well somebody likes _you._

Bryan: Ah! Get away from me.

Lei: Can I sit here?

Bryan: What do I look like Santa Claus? You're pointing to my lap.

Lei: *nervous grin*

Bryan: That's it! *fisherman slams Lei to next chapter*

Kunimitsu: Wah! I'm hated by all! *attempts suicide with dagger*

Yoshimitsu: No, it's more like this *commits suicide with sword*

Kunimitsu: Oh, like this. *commits suicide*

Yoshi: Sucker....... Ouchies.

Jin: *on podium* Will everybody please listen to me. Hey Jack down there.

*all Jacks and Roger look up*

Roger: No wait, I just played Jack in the movie. The hip, the hop, the hippidy.........

Hwoarang: This is gonna get confusing, so here. *throws magnet on P.Jack*

P. Jack: *explodes*

Jin: All right Jack.

both: Which one?

Jin: You. *points to Jack 2* You shall be known as #2.

Jack 2: Okay. ^_^ *obviously doesn't get it*

Jin: Anyway back on topic. I say we petition the teams we were put on. We won't be subjected to this horror. *has bad thought of Heihachi on his team* Well, Heihachi is here right now to answer all your questions.

Hehachi: *is tied up and gagged*

Jin: *releases the gag* So ask him any question.

*all the characters don their press-like attire*

Michelle: *in Barbara Walters voice* So is it twue tat you have twied to kill all your fambily membas at twest one point tin tere lives?

Hehachi: True, except Lee. He's my special little boy.

*all shudder*

Michelle: So twhy do you twant dem all dead?

Hehachi: *tilts head like a psycho and in a mellow tone* They all deserve to die.

Michelle: I see. But twhy do you intist of twowing tem of high elebations?

Hehachi: Well you see...*chuckles*..... it's a fettish of mine.

all: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! *all run away*

Hehachi: Will somebody please let me loose? Guys? Hello?

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Narrator: We now go to Kazuya's room where we see him and Jun-Woah!!! O_o Going to the next room then.

Jin: So in my grandpa's Tekken 3 ending he was? *gah* *hack*

Nina: So where are you from mysterious naked woman covered in paint?

Unknown: *muffled groan*

Julia: So how old are you?

Unknown: *muffled groan*

Ganryu: So what is that thing behind you?

Unknown: *muffled groan*

A. King: That's it, I'm fed up with you. *casts Doom on Unknown*

Unknown: *disappears*

King: Wow Sensei! I didn't know you could do that!

A. King: I'm a level 3 Archmage.

Hwoarang: Hey sensei. Can you do anything like that?

Baek: *slaps him* No, but I can still kick your butt.

Hwoarang: Shutting up.

Bruce: Wow, can you kill that pansy Lee for us?

Lee: Why do you say that? I'm not gay.

Bruce: Anyone mind telling him why?

Xiaoyu: Sure. First off why do you wear all purple and call yourself Violet?

Lee: Because real men where that color and Purple sounded too gay for a name.

Forest: Right. And how can any _normal _man lift their leg so high like that?

Lee: Like this? *does it*

*all shiver*

Jin: And how come you get spanked by everybody you know? Ex. Hehachi and Combot.

Lee: Because they like making my life a living hell.

A. King: That's it, I heard enough *summons Alpacas to trample him*

Lee: I admit it.....I'm....really.....*dies*

Jin: No! I really wanted to hear that. Can you resurrect him?

A. King: Sure. *does so*

Lee: Like I was saying before I was *ahem* killed I really am a size 8 1/2 in men's shoes.

*all fall over*

Jin: Do you mind killing him?

A. King: Sure. But how shall I do it? I know, I shall turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea. I'll then but that flea in a box, put that box in another box, mail that box to myself and when it arrives...*hahaha* smash it with a hammer. It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, pure genius. Or to save on postage do this. *sends lightning bolt* 

Lee: *gets struck* My...hair, my....beautiful....frizzed... *dies*

Bryan: Cool, can you do that to Lei now please?

A. King: Sorry, out of MP.

Bryan: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

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Narrator: Well now it seems everybody's secret is out now.... well not _everyone's _bwahahahahaha.

Author: Well it seems that my Narrator has temporarily lost his sanity. He sometimes does that. But anyway

last calls for requesting teams. I'm beginning the fighting (which will more closely resemble Celebrity 

Deathmatch without _all _the death) next chapter. Yet again I go all wacky but I'm sure that's what 

you all wanted. Btw, the word scrub is a word used to describe somebody that a. has no experience playing a game and thus chooses a cool-looking character or b. knows how to do one cheap move and does so throughout the whole round. Now to huddle in the corner, look for an update soon. 


	4. Chap 4 The Teams are Chosen Steve's Crus...

Tekken Tag Tourney 2Chap. 4 The Teams are announced; Steve's Crush

Disclaimer: Moo Mooooooooo MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! *translation: I don't own anything*

A/N: Here it is, the thing which you probably haven't been waiting for. Since no one voted for a team, I A. must have done a good job in picking the first few or B. you guys don't care about the fighting and just want to read good humor. I vote the latter but I shall still continue both. A sample fight will be included in this chapter to reveal how mediocre my fight descriptions will be. No worries, half the other time it will be the same humor that brought you tears of utter sorrow. With that said, Enjoy!!! (^_^)

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Narrator: Hello and welcome back to the mindless abyss we call Chapter 4. Sorry about my breakdown the last chapter. My psychiatrist, Dr. Bosconovitch, says I should cut back on how much I narrate and spend more time helping him take over the world. Now we enter the main hall of the hotel where Kazuya has posted the rest of the teams and their hotel room #. Out of the _surviving_ fighters, we have...

Room # A1- M. Law, Unknown_____A2- Nina, Anna

A3- Eddy, Roger____B1- Julia, Christie

B2- Miharu, F. Law______B3- Dr. B, Angel

C1- Michelle, Ganryu_____C2- Yoshimitsu, Gun Jack

C3- Bryan, Lei____D1- Bruce, Ogre

D2- A. King, Panda______D3- Baek, #2 (a.k.a. Jack 2)

E1- Steve, Tetsujin_______E2- King, the now resurrected Marduck

E3- Gon, Wang___F1- Hwoarang, Kunimistu (a.k.a. dead)

F2-Jun, Devil _____F3-Lee (resurrected), T. Ogre 

G1-Xiaoyu, Kazuya______G2- Hehachi, Jin 

Jin: Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!! *farts* *faints*

Gon: Tee-hee. *farts*

Hehachi: Haha my boy. We shall be in the same room all the time. I just have to warn you I'm balding and the bathroom won't be pretty. Plus I get this bad-smelling odor after I work out every day. Oh yeah, can't forget my flatulent problem-

Gon: *farts*

Jin: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Jun: ^_^ *skips up* I know who's team I'm going to be on Kazu- Ya!!!!! Devil???!!!!

Kazuya: Sorry honey, I have to torture _everybody._ I had to stick myself with a hyper-active Chinese brat.

Jun: In the same room huh... *gives The Look* ...with a teenager that will be changes clothes more times than Jennifer Lopez changes husbands. You promised if I went to your room and-

Kazuya: La-la-la NOT LISTENING! La-la-la *runs out*

King: How come A.King resurrected Marduck? 

Narrator: To lower the number of fatalities that would otherwise be caused by plot-holes. Why do you think the author had your sensei become a wizard?

King: Oh, good point.

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Narrator: We now go to room E1 where Steve mutters gibberish to himself that retains to the plot.

Steve: How could she do this to me? I know she'll fall for that guy for sure! *walks out slams the door which sends a vibration through Tetsujin that felt most unpleasant for the bagboy that got fell on*

*out in hallway*

Steve: He'll have his hands all over her!

Paul: Hey what's wrong son?

Steve: Leave me alone!! *walks off*

Paul: Do I do the fatherly thing and ask him what's the matter. Oh look, cheddar fries! ^____^

Steve: *walks by Nina's room* And I've always loved her!

Nina: Hey Stevie! Why do you look mad?

Steve: It's none of your business! *walks off*

Nina: Do I do the motherly thing and comfort him? Oh look, the new Cosmo mag. is in!! ^_______^

Steve: *walks by his friend Hwoarang's room* I'm going to kic- err... _punch _his sorry ass!

Hwoarang: What are you talking about?

Steve: Like you'd care! *walks off*

Hwoarang: Do I do the friendly thing and follow him. Oh look, American Idol is on!!! ^__________^

Steve: *walks by Wang* I just hate him!!!

Wang: Do I do a good deed for someone I don't even know? Hey look, Matlock (a.k.a. Andy Griffinth) is right outside my door. Who cares *pushes Matlock over into the trashcan*

Steve: What do you want old man?

Wang: To ask what's wrong.

Steve: Really?! You're the only one. Well you see... their is this girl I like, but she doesn't know me. Their is also this guy that I know will steal her from me. His name is Forest.

Wang: And what is the girl's name?

Steve: Her name is Lee Chao-...oh, you meant the one I liked; Miharu Hirano.

Wang: Oh, well here's how to get her to notice you; you *whispers non-sensical jabber that we can not hear or understand for plot-related reasons*

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Narrator: We now enter the arena where the 1st fight is underwear.. er, underway. Nina+Anna vs. Yoshimitsu+Gun Jack. Kazuya and Ogre are in the announcing booth.

*all enter ring*

Kazuya: The rules are if you're knocked out your team loses, if you give up your team loses, if you die, duh... what do you think? *covering his mike* Good thing that we killed that apathic Tekken 4 announcer, he got on my nerves.

Ogre: Can you buy me ice cream. Marshall was a real meany-head and stole mine.

Kazuya: You're not covering your mike and uh.... oh yeah, you guys Fight!!! or somethin'....

Nina: Die you ugas DIE!!!! *does Bad Habit to Gun Jack a.k.a. the painful kick to the crotch*

Gun Jack: *is unaffected being a robot and all* Haha!!!

Nina: OWWW $@#$$%@%#$%##%%!!!!!! My foot hurts.

Gun Jack: That is for forcing me to share Tekken 3 arenas.

all: Huh?!

Anna: You wouldn't hurt me with that sword would you.

Yoshi: *is gawking at Anna's revealing outfit* duhhhhh..........no?? *drools*

Nina: I'll have you know she once was a nun.

Anna: You promised you wouldn't tell anybody you #@@#%$#%$$##$@%#!!!

Nina: When she was one she didn't last even a week, she couldn't handle the vow of celibacy and was paler than Bryan, no offence.

Bryan: *in crowd* None taken! *to himself* No wonder I was attracted to her then.

Lei: Are you attracted to me? *swishes eyebrows*

Bryan: UGH!!!! How did you get into my giant popcorn bucket???!!! *slams Lei to next chapter*

Nina: Anyway, they had to let her go due to her declining health. I haven't stopped calling her "The Virgin Slut" since. 

*all laugh*

Anna: You all die now!!! *knocks everyone in the arena out somehow without getting sucked up by the Raisin-Bran addicted plot-hole*

Yoshimitsu: *on ground laughing hyterically* Virgin Slut!!!

Anna: Grr.... *does her Falling Heel a.k.a. the front-flip onto him but succeeds to landing on Yoshi's sword*

Anna: *is badly impaled and bleeding* The......pain....of...knowing .....I'm.......going....to die.....A VIRGIN.......slut....... *dies*

*all wake up*

Kazuya: Looks like Anna is dead so..... Yoshi and Gun Jack are the winners.

Nina: Damn! *laughs* Haha, Virgin Slut.

Steve: *off stage and a little bit to the left* Hey Miharu! Look at this! *starts clog-dancing with a herd of llamas*

Miharu: Wow, I am so very impressed. I love you Steve. Forget you Forest, I need a man that can provide like _that._

Forest: *flips back his wallet full of $100s* Damn! *laughs* Haha, Virgin Slut.

Wang: The clog-dancing llama routine never fails. Bwahahahahahahahaha-hack! *has seizure*

*back in booth*

Kazuya: What a bad fight ladies, gentlemen, and Lees. 

Lee: *in crowd* Hey!

Ogre: *wakes up* *to Kazuya* Mommy, will you clean my pants, I made a boo-boo in them.

Kazuya: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Narrator: Now to hold a moment of silence for Mokujin and his family who were mistaken for firewood and burned in a fireplace. We will _not_ miss you. Mokujin- 1997-2003

Mokujin: But I'm not a piece of firewood.

Man: Woah, talking firewood. You're coming with me. *hauls Mokujin and his family off*

Mokujin: Please don't burn my family, just my physically abusive wife.

Man: Well all right, I'll just chop you guys up _then _burn you.

Mokujin: Okay! ^_^

Mokujin's Wife: Dumbass. *uppercuts Mokujin*

Mokujin: Wwwhhhhhheeeeeeeeeee ^_^. Now to land right into the forest fire right there. *burns*

Kuma: Only _you _can prevent forest fires.

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Author: Wow, crappy to say the absolute least. I need ideas guys!!! You can thank writers block for that horrible fight; 2-3 moves mentioned. I am trying to get adjusted to the new flow of things so sorry about the wacky formatted plot. And don't worry, Nina and _maybe_ Anna will still be in the story. Sayonara sanity!


	5. Round 2 Julia is sadistic

Tekken Tag Tourney 2Chapter 5: Round 2; Julia is Sadistic 

Disclaimer: Can you guys read my other disclaimers? Gee wilikers Batman. _

A/N: Yet another chapter that has a hidden agenda of brain-washing your minds to be used by the Cult of Panda Feeders. I write this under the influence of Burger King fries and Peanut M&M's. So those of you with aspiring futures be forewarned; this will definitely send you to a mental ward. So onward and downward as I always say. (P.S. Trenay, I'm thinking of having a Matlock vs. J.B. Fletcher fight in a later chapter. Wonder how that would go? *passes out at the thought*)

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Narrator: We last left off with a rather disturbing chapter which won't be as far off from this one. We now enter the 2 teams' rooms who have a scheduled match later. We find Julia Chang sitting at her computer playing _The Sims _and mumbling words of discomfiture to herself.

Julia: *to herself and the computer* I have put up with you people for too long. I vent all my anger to your simulated lives on my game. *bwahahaha* Jin you picked Xiaoyu over me? Both of you shall burn in a fire "accident". Mom, you think you can run my life can you? Well you can starve to death. Hwoarang, you forgot my birthday so I must electrocute you then. Kazuya, you can get rabies, Heihachi can get abducted by aliens, and the rest of you drown at my pool party. *bwahahahahahahahahaha-*

Christie: Um, you okay? I just wanted to tell-uh-you we have a match in-like-20 minutes or so, so get ready and-like-get some-uh-therapy or...somethin'. *leaves* 

Julia: Note to self: Make Christie, have Christie drink expresso for a full day to make her pee her pants uncontrollably, kill Christie. *gets ready then leaves*

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Narrator: We now leave that sadistic scene to a more traumatizing one: Lei watching _Lifetime (television for _**Women**). 

Lei: *watching T.V. in his room*

Bryan: *comes out of bathroom* Lei, what the #$%@@$%%# are you watching?

Lei: Oh, it's this funny show about these four estrogen-driven old women. It's called _The Golden Girls._

Bryan: *shudders* Um, okay.

Lei: Just watch it.

*on television* Rose: Well my old childhood town St. Olaf put all of the towns savings in something we were sure to win the war; attack cows. They would rappel from the sky and attack the enemy from behind. But it wasn't until we released them from the plane we realized; cows don't know how to pull a rip-chord. But at least we knew that if the Germans didn't hate anything else, it was a mess.

Bryan: Hey, this is pretty funny. Tell anybody else I said that and you'll be pulling that ponytail from your #@%@##$$$.

Lei: You know what else is funny?

Bryan: This. *knocks Lei out* Oh crap, we have a fight in 15 minutes and he is already down for the count. Think you moronic zombie, think. Oh, I got it!! *leaves with Lei slumped on his shoulder*

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Narrator: We now enter the arena with both the teams. Kazuya and the more mature, grown up True Ogre announcing the fight.

Kazuya: Now entering the ring. Team Julia Chang and Christie Monteiro. *apathic holler*

*Julia bent on anger starts beating on the crowd while Christie walks into a wall*

True Ogre: Now the next team of fleshie mortals from the inferor Earth realm, Lei Wulong and Bryan Fury*

*Bryan casually walks to the ring while Lei, seeming to be held up by strings floats to the ring while bumping into numerous objects*

Hehachi: *walks into booth* Hey Kazuya, you have any more of those old guy panties in your room? I'm all out of them.

Kazuya: You just said that into my micro-

*everybody in arena looks at him* 

Kazuya: They're for my uh... son.

Jin *in crowd* Hey!

True Ogre: Now the time has come for you foolish mortals to commence your petty quarrel. Are you ready?

*the 3 nod while Lei nods and head slumps on shoulder*

Kazuya: Fight.

Julia: I'm going to beat you senseless Wulong.

Lei: *voice from tape recorder* Fweeeeeeze!!!

Julia: Huh?

Lei: *tape recorder* Come on! *hand gets lifted up onto face flaps there a couple times and then slumps to side*

Julia: Okay.... How are you doing Christie?

Christie: *is tangled in ropes* Couldn't be better.

Bryan: *whips out a sack off potatoes then precedes to chuck them at Christie*

Julia: That's good to hear. *turns back to Lei* Now to assault _you_. *starts punching Lei*

Lei: *body starts flying back and forth then knocks into Julia*

Julia: Owww, Come on fight me.

Lei: *tape-recorder voice* I am Lei Wwwwulong, Hi-ya!!!! *arm lifts up then starts flapping in Julia's face then the leg starts to lightly kick Julia's shin*

Julia: What is going on?

Lei: Fweeeze, you are under arrest. *head starts bobbing*

Julia: Your mouth isn't even moving. Hey Bryan, what are you trying to pull?

Bryan: *looks up from the wrath of what a potato sack can do to ones head* Huh? Oh, he's just a little tired today.

Christie: *covered in potato carnage* I'm okay. *falls down, gets up, rinse and repeat*

Julia: *has idea* Say Wulong? You wouldn't mind telling me who you're partner is?

Lei: I am Lei Wwwwulong, Hi-ya!!! *body starts fluttering*

Bryan: Well you know he is a moron.

Lei: Fwwwweeezzze. You are breaking the law.

Julia: Ugh. *tugs on strings she notices dangling on Lei*

*body falls from rafters crushing Julia*

Hwoarang: Owww, that fall hurt. *looks under him* Oh, hey Julia.

Julia: *is knocked out*

Hwoarang: Uh, hey Bryan. I'm done playing puppet with Lei, where's my $20?

Bryan: Here. *hands it over* I wanted to ask; why did you want to do this even against your girlfriend?

Hwoarang: Oh, I thought that was Michelle when I was up there.

Bryan: And that was your girlfriend and you don't even care that you practically killed her?

Hwoarang: Umm....no?

Bryan: Ugh. *slams Hwoarang to next chapter*

Kazuya: *wakes up* Uh, it looks like everybody is incapacitated except Bryan, so I guess that means he's the winner?

True Ogre: So be the petty mortal. *starts torching the crowd*

Lei: *crumpled on floor* I am Lei Wwwwulong, Hi-ya!!! *wakes up* Where am I? Who are you? Who am I?

Bryan: Idiot. *grabs Lei and slams him to next chapter*

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Narrator: So Lei was a puppet this whole chapter? Their are many plot-holes to clean up this chapter which might take a while. Anyway might I add this fungus growing on my back is contagious? *gets shot with a sedative by the author* Sooooo tilllllllll neexxtttttt tiimmmeee seeeee youuu laaaaaa- *falls asleep*

A/N: I should enslave a better narrator to do my bidding. Sorry for that hard-to-read chapter but I've had other things to do. The carnival is in town so that means carnival+being next to my house=happy me ^_^. All right, better (hopefully) things to come in the next time. See ya'll later.


	6. What's up with the talk show

Tekken Tag Tourney 2 Chapter 6; What's up with this talk show???

Disclaimer: *sing-song voice* Tekken you're so fine, you're so fine, too bad you're not mine, Tekken *farts* And no, I don't own anything else to that extent *pukes*

A/N: o_O Ahh!! Don't worry, I'm not _that_ whacked out. By the way this is a side-chapter with me playing around with a talk-show environment. Narrator is having therapy at the moment which won't matter anyway with this chapter. No fighting!!! (not much anyway) P.S. I hope I got what you wanted Snake Edge. If not, I tried.

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Hwoarang: Live from Tokyo, Japan; it's Sunday Morning Live. Now your hosts, Ling Xiaoyuuuuu and Jiiiiiiiiiiin Kazaaaaaamaaaaa!!!!!

*Tekken characters in crowd and Jin + Xiaoyu in chairs*

Jin: Thank you for that Hwoarang. Now today we'll be showing you-

Xiaoyu: Special Education memories with Tekken characters-

Jin: a Halloween costume contest-

Xiaoyu: Stupid Devil tricks-

Jin: And most of all-

both: The Top 10 or so list!!!!!!!

Xiaoyu: But 1st we have confessions from Tekken fighters who were in special ed. as children.

Jin: So with that said, will someone from the audience share your experience with the world about your most embarrassing moments to later be used against you by everybody you know.

*everybody raises hand*

Jin: How about you? *points to the feeling-better-now-than-from-the-last-chapter Julia*

Julia: Yay!!! *sits in chair* Well it all started back in grade school *commence flash-back mode*

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I remember it like yesterday. All of us were in the same room with our teacher Mrs. Chang, which happened to be my mom.

Mrs. Chang: Julia sweetie, please stop torturing those butterflies.

young Julia: *has them in jar* But mom, they are butterflies. So they all deserve to die. *starts poking them with pencil* Bwhahaha!!!

Mrs. Chang: Jin, you really shouldn't be eating your toes.

young Jin: But they taste soooooo yummy!!!! *licks them*

Mrs. Chang: Forest, eating paste isn't good for you.

Forest: But my daddy puts it on his food all the time.

Mrs. Chang: *to herself* No wonder why I never eat at his restraunt. *out loud* Ling, your hair shouldn't be used as a paintbrush.

Xiaoyu: But Hwoarang ate the hair off mine. *shows hair-less paintbrush*

Chang: Now what have we told him about eating hair.

Hwoarang: Must eat hair, must have no hair, nobody should have hair... *pulls out scissors and starts hacking at peoples hair*

Mrs. Chang: Ugh, Steve stop **KICKING **that dog, Christie, stop hitting yourself with that, Miharu, don't put that in the light socket *zap*, and somebody get me an aspirin!!!

*end flashback*

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current Jin: Those were good times weren't they?

Xiaoyu: Sure were. We now have a tape of our parents in special ed.

Jin: Roll it!

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*young kids being shot on tape*

Mr. Wang: Settle down class. My name is Mr. Wang and I'll be your sub.

*all laugh*

Wang: OK whatever, Jun, will you answer the homework question for me?

Jun: The Devil speaks through me. *hiss*

Wang: Riiiight, Kazuya, will you answer?

Kazuya: The bunnies are after me!!!! Wahhhhhhh!!!!!!! *swats them away*

Wang: How about you Marshal?

Marshal: I like paste. I'll make a paste food restraunt.

Wang: How about Michelle?

Michelle: *swinging tomahawk at imaginary butterflies* They're out to get me! They deserve to die!!!

Wang: Kids!!! Nina stop flashing us, Anna stop mooning us, Lee stop painting yourself purple, Ganryu you won't be able to fit that bowling ball in your mouth, Marduck stop acting like a duck, King don't drink that, Yoshimitsu stop stabbing Kunimitsu, Bruce stop making Bryan cry like a sissified baby, Lei don't shoot Baek with that, and somebody please call a paramedic!!!!!!!!!!! *has heart-attack*

Kazuya: Quick what's the # to 911!!!

*all shrug*

*Wang burps*

*author barfs at overused joke*

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Jin: Okay, they wonder why we turned out so stupid dummies.

Xiaoyu: Is their anyone here that _wasn't_ in special ed?

*Paul and Kuma raise hands err.... paws*

Paul: Just because I'm a biker and have this hair, people think I'm stupid. Hey I have a 175 I.Q. and Kuma has a 215. So don't judge us by how we look.

*all stare in awe*

Xiaoyu: Uhh..... Oh yeah! Time for the Halloween costume contest. Anybody wearing a costume come down here.

*both announcers start pacing rows of contestants*

Jin: So why did you dress as a duck Mar**DUCK?**

Marduck: Quack quack quack.....Quack!!!

Xiaoyu: Very nice. Next we have Yoshimitsu dressed as a combination of Star Wa-

Yoshimitsu: Shh!! Copyright infringement.

Jin: Oh, Next up, King with a jaguar mask on.

King: But I always have this-

Xiaoyu: Sure you do, now we have Eddy dressed as some disco guy.

Eddy: The names Tiger, disco Tiger.

Jin: Walking up we see *sigh* my uncle dressed in purple.

Lee: Call me Violet, no wait!, Purple Pansy Man!!! *dons purple cape*

Xiaoyu: A. King, do you mind?

A. King: Sure. *casts Meteo on Lee*

Lee: X_X *dies*

Saddam Hussein: Oh my God, he just killed Lee.

Osama Bin Laden: The bastard.

*all look at them*

both: RUUUNNN!!!!

*both get tackled and held down*

Jin: I've just been informed that their was a raffle for the bodies of these two and it says here that Nina Williams and Bryan Fury have won the right to do what they please to them.

Nina: I'll take this one. *grabs Saddam* I shall peel your eyelids of and give you a strict diet of sleeping pills. ^_^

Bryan: And I shall peel _your _*grabs Osama* skin off and throw you into a pool of vinegar. ^_^

Lei: Glad it's not me. ^_^

Bryan: You're joining him too.

3 torturees: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! *get drug off*

Xiaoyu: Back to uh.. costumes *steps over Lee's body* we have Ogre dressed as an angel.

Ogre: And I also have a pretty little harp too. *shows*

Jin: Cute, and last we have Christie Montiero which I assume is dressed up as J-Lo. 

Christie: *wearing her P.2 costume* I was going for more of the Betty Boop look this time. *boo-boo-be-doop*

Xiaoyu: All right, the votes are in and the winner is............ Lee for the purple rotting corpse costume look.

Jin: Congrats for him. And now what you have been waiting for. The top 10 or so list. 

This week the top 10 things heard by the game creators that show Tekken is going downhill.

10. Why don't we add a disproportioned Koala bear to the list of characters.

9. How about another mimic-all character to boot.

8. Let's see what Heihachi looks like with his hair down. *points to Paul*

7. Let's resurrect all the characters in some lame excuse to milk their popularity.

6. How about having Lei dress in all pink and call him Magenta.

5. Or better yet have Nina wear nothing but Scotch tape next time around. *pervs* v_v

4. We shall never let Heihachi die. *bwahahahaha*

3. How about letting them fly on rocket packs and shoot fireballs.

2. We should let them run around a city shooting cops and other people. *cough* GTA *hack*

And #1.......

1. Wasn't Yoshimitsu originally from Soul Calibur?

*bad tune starts playing*

Jin: That's all the time we have folks. Sorry Devil, we went overtime and won't have time to see you.

Devil: O....oook.....kay..... *cries* Nobody.......loves...me.

Xiaoyu: That's right. See you later folks.

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A/N: AAhhhhh!!! Writer's block is the pits. Sorry about the lame top 10. You guys could give me some ideas for them and I'll feature them *cough _another_ lame voting idea*. All right, more fighting to come and this could be another segment or story all together.................Well how long did you expect me to have fresh ideas before running cold!!! *starts getting drug off* Ssssaaaaaavvvvvveeeeee mmmyyyyy sssstttttoooooorrrrrrryyyyyyyy......


End file.
